The Perfect Fit: Clothes and Relationships
I really respect brands that carry a variety of sizes. ASOS for example carries regular sizes as well as sizes for the ladies with Curves and sizes for the Petite ladies! Everyone’s body is unique and I appreciate the options so I can find the perfect fit.
Tip: for a backless dress like this, I normally like to wear my sticky bra cups from NuBra. These bras comes in sizes A, B and C. I prefer the cloth over the silicon ones because it’s lightweight and stays attached, the silicon stickies can be heavy and uncomfortable. If you’re a D cup or bigger, I recommend these backless bras with under-wire from Nordstrom for the extra support.
{Photos by NR}
Dress: Bodycon PETITE exclusive dress c/o ASOS (size UK 4)| Bag: Valentino | Shoes: Steven Madden ReaLuv sandals | Rings: Double Band rings (similar here)| Glasses: Dior cat eye
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I met someone over the weekend when I was in New York that had me really intrigued. Candice, an overwhelmingly sweet and innocent girl who just moved to the big apple. A new town filled with strangers to start a temporarily new life in hope of searching for a “new version” of herself…or at least that’s what she was told to do by someone who loves her.
Candice and I spoke for hours like we have known each other for years. After I told her I have a personal style blog that I would like to shift into lifestyle-meets-fashion, she insisted that I share her story. I was a little hesitant at first but maybe, just maybe others’ stories who’s unbiased can help empowered and lift her spirit and maybe help her in some way. That’s all I’m hoping for. Here goes…
Candice was laid off a little under a year ago and has not been having much luck finding a new job. She has a successful boyfriend name Richard who she’s been with for 4 years (living together for 2) and has plans on buying a new home together. Recently Richard decided to move to LA to focus on his career with a new business partner without first talking to Candice. When Candice found out, she thought she was going to come to LA as well. However, Richard insisted that she should move to New York so that she can independently grow as a person and thus become a “better girlfriend” and “future wife.” While Candice thought the idea was a bit irrational, she thinks that NY may be good for her to grow as a person so she agreed, with hopes that Richard will eventually come to NY to be with her.
To Candice’s surprise, Richard has no intentions on moving to NY and insisted that she move back to their current city of residence after a year or so. You see, after she told me her story, I wanted to automatically assumed Richard was a dick (pun-intended), but I know not all relationships are black and white, so maybe he deserve the benefit of doubt.
I understand that people grow and evolve throughout life. Sometimes we change enough where the relationships we have are outgrown or simply do not fit into the vision of our future. Like the dress that once fit us so perfectly, our relationships sometimes become “too small” or “out of style.” Just like a valuable relationship, should we throw out a beloved dress or find a way to make it work? Could this be Richard’s way of making their relationship work? Or is he actually throwing away a valuable thing without even realizing it?
I know not all relationship are the same and we can’t always judge something by the cover, but after digesting this issue some more and really trying to give Richard the benefit of doubt, I can’t help but feel like Richard is trying to mode and changed Candice into someone she’s not. Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic, but I like to believe that my love accepts me for me, flaws and all, and want to grow, learn and become better individuals together.
Do you think Richard is making a mistake by letting Candice go or is he genuinely trying to help hers & his relationship?
{For identity protection, all names has been change}
That’s one sexy dress, the way it hugs your body is so beautiful, and the low back just amazing! On Candice, wow that’s quite a story, of course there’s so much more of the story than this, but I think he’s not giving her all the value and respect she deserves, decisions like this should be taken by the two of them, not just by a man trying to sort it all to his convenience, Candice deserves so much more than him!
Cee. ?
Code Overdressed
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I love the outfit. I think that Candice’s boyfriend is a control freak. He should have just been honest in the beginning and let her know that he no longer wanted to be with someone that was confused about the direction of their career. We have all been there. Its just a matter of another person excepting you for you, and apparently the boyfriend would rather not deal. I have never heard of a fully invested significant other want their mate to leave way across the United States from where they reside. It seems as if he would rather have an open relationship. At this point in my life if my boyfriend suggested that to me, I would automatically assume that he was no longer interested in the relationship but he would rather not let anyone else have me either.
You look wonderful darling, do you ever think you might post a hair tutorial because I LOVE that bun. Now on to Candice, while 99% of the time I side with the female over the male, I have to wonder…why did Candice move to NY at someone else’s request? While he convinced her it was a good idea and she may try and tell others that she wants this, does she really? Before Richard would she have ever considered this move? I also don’t like the way this story is headed…the successful business man is telling his unemployed girlfriend whats best for her and what the next move is for their relationship. I have yet to hear what Candice WANTS and I mean what she really wants, she’s confused right now, sure, but it seems to me like she needs to speak up. She didn’t even know what the plan was after she moved to NY? Not okay with me, it sounds like she has no say in the course of the relationship.
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I think Dick did Candice a huge favor here. I think he is a coward who wants her to read between the line instead laying the cards on the table. I hope Candice finds love, happiness and self fulfillment in the city with endless possibilities.
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For guys love is usually demonstrated in action.
If a guy really wants to be with someone, then they act accordingly. There might be noise and confusion around their actions, otherwise its pretty straight froward.
In this case it sounds like Richard gave a soft kiss of bs and a low blow kick by moving to another state. Im pretty sure anyone in love thought they should go on separate vacations to separate states to fall more in love.
I don’t think this story is about advice. I see it more focused around understanding the actions of others and what bold actions like living in different states mean. Plus can a guy be really so selfless as to suggest his gf move and be with other men so they can come closer together?
I’ve been reading this blog for a while now and it’s one of my daily faves. But after seeing this post and another post about creating a successful blog, I felt compelled to post. Thank you. Thank you for personalizing this blog even more with the addition of a lifestyle section.
This was a touching story and I’m glad that you choose to tell it – I feel for Candice and thus I will say that she should run so fast and far away from this man. When a man truly is committed to a woman he will be able to stomach letting her leave his side to move to the other side of the country! He’s a coward asking her to do the work for him by suggesting she move elsewhere. She should boldly start a new beginning and find someone that treasures his time with her. A great relationship is possible but she needs to recognize her worth and recognize a man that treasures and cherishes her. Until then, she should enjoy her single life ;) My favorite quote of all time is “Within Uncertainty Lies the Realm of Possibilities.” Embrace the Uncertainty.
Hey honey!
It’s been too long that I didn’t know about your transition to love and lifestyle, I love it! as what I’ve always loved about your blog is how personal and ‘real’ it is. I love these photos, that top knot is the best I’ve ever seen, can you teach a girl like me how to do hair?! ughhh your hair is always so perfect!
Okay, Richard and Candice like other posters have commented, we don’t know the back stories, so it’s hard to say fairly what’s going on. As someone who is coming out of a long relationship myself, I know that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides to a story.
So Candice moves to another city and opens her eyes up to what else there is out there, what’s so bad about that? and not a bad place to do it I may add. However, the fact that he made such a life changing decision without consulting her or including her shows where his head is, indifferent, selfish and inconsiderate.
Candice should use this time to rediscover herself and what SHE truly loves and not focus on her past with Dickhead and just try to be happy every day. She shouldn’t go out looking for love but just find happiness however she defines it, a single life is the perfect time to be selfish and indulge in our own likes.
I just love you Kim! Love your posts! I’m sorry I’ve been MIA for so long, but you’re the best thing that’s happened to me since my life of blogging!
xoxo keep us updated in Candice and Dickhead
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This post is interesting but honestly I don’t like getting into couples situations because first off we don’t really know them. I’ve been married for 8 years to my husband and I’ve always stepped away from people I just met and their personal relationship problems or situations, I just find it irritable because every couple has a story whether good or bad and only the people in that relationship can truly have the answers to what they want to do with each other. Hearing others opinions is just a waste of time unless its your best friend or family. I don’t mean for this to sound negative. Richard does sound like a d*ck, if a guy ever tells you to move to change or whatever clearly I would re-examine my taste in men and do what I want to do! I would never let a man walk all over me like that. Like I said I don’t really know them or even the guys story so I am only making an assumption of what you stated in your post. I hope it doesn’t sound negative but I hope Candice makes the right decision for herself for her own happiness, especially for the future, and not for someone else. Anyway, I always enjoy reading your blogs and especially seeing your pictures and fashion style. The dress is a killer! I love it and it looks absolutely amazing on you! I hope your enjoying your day.
xoxo
Thanks so much for the sweet comment Rhea! I don’t think it’s negative at all. I was a bit hesitant to post something like this (never did that before) but was sort of encouraged and I felt maybe it can help Candice in some way. It’s weird but sometimes, maybe, hearing other stories can help us when the message isn’t biased and it’s from a complete stranger. I hope Candice the best of everything because she deserve it! :)
KT Thank you for replying I love it when bloggers are so real and responsive with their followers! This is one of the reasons why I keep reading your blog and keep coming back! It’s not just your amazing style and admiration that inspires me, your simply just a doll! Love it! xoxo Rhea
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Urgh, reading this really makes me upset for Candice. But then again, I can’t believe she is moving because he told her to move. I mean, I’m sure she has her reason which we as the reader do not know, but whatever Richard’s reasons are for telling her to go is just wrong. There are no reasons ever to justify telling her to move to a new city so that she can become better. WTF? I really hope Candice finds love and success and one day when Richard look back he will realize what an ass he was.
Thank you so much for posting this story! I kind of went through the same BS recently with my ex and this helps me put things in perspective.
I don’t know all the details about their relationship but Candice needs to drop this dirt bag. What kind of man would try to tell his girlfriend to move so that she can be a better girlfriend? That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard of. Tell Richard to have some balls and break it off like an adult. I hope Candice the best in NY! It’s a big world out there and she’s sure to find a better life for herself and I hope she finds someone who treats her like a princess.
What a gorgeous dress, love the cut on the back, you look beautiful! :)
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Stunning!!
What a great outfit! I love that dress!
-Adrienne. xo
Citizen of the World
Citizen of the World
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Love the neckline and the back of this dress. Even though it’s simple, it looks so graceful :) About the relationship question: my opinion is, that we can not judge if what their doing is right or wrong, because we don’t know them and most important, we are not them. Things that can’t work for some couples, can maybe work for others. So whenever we make judgements like that, we are evaluating things from our perspective, but this does not mean that their perspective is the same. That’s why advice giving is never a good idea. :)
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