21 Marriage Survival Tips: Read At Your Own Risk.
9.16.15 || I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since Mr. Reed + I said our “I do’s” (Read about it HERE). Who would have guessed we made it this far and haven’t killed one another yet. :)
No one nor any relationship is perfect of course, but I truly believe it’s the bumpy roads that pushes us to grow, allows us to learn and shows us how to love (perhaps more deeply). In honor of our 4th year anniversary and the fact that we are still alive and not in jail, I want to share a few of the tips & tricks that I’ve learned along the way. Warning: I’m no expert so read at your own risk.
* * *
1. Speak to your significant other more kindly than you speak to anyone else. Too often we speak the most harshly to those closest to us.
2. Remember that marriage is less about marrying the right person and more about becoming the right person.
3. Find ways to say “I love you” with the simple things like leaving post-it notes with a little message on it.
4. Ask her how her day was and listen to her (even if she goes on and on and on for hours*). Call and check up on her. Text her. Talk to her and tell her what you’re thinking.
5. Be his cheerleader. Encourage him and let him know you believe in him (unless it’s a request to put up a picture frame evenly on the wall*).
6. Don’t forget to laugh. Most couples spend the majority of their time talking logistics: who’s doing the dishes, who’s going grocery shopping, who’s paying which bills. It’s important to share these mundane tasks and have fun together.
7. Take the time to go on a date at least once a week, whether it’s a movie, dinner or just out for happy hour.
8. Don’t forget to keep up with your appearance. Just because you have seen each other at your worse, does not mean you should let go of your best.
9. Fellas, please leave the toilet seat down. Bonus points if you clean the bathroom often. Actually, let’s just have separate bathrooms.
10. Pick your battles. Not everything is worth a fight: like that one time when he forgot to replace the empty roll of toilet paper and you’re sitting there waiting for rescue.*
11. When you’re not seeing eye-to-eye, listen to understand. Don’t listen to talk. Don’t interrupt just to get your point across and then find loopholes so you can win an argument. You can’t win by beating someone else down.
12. When she cries, comfort her, hold her, buy her ice cream.
13. If you’re fighting, don’t hide his x-box or every one of his left shoe.*
14. Flirt, sext, and say dirty things to each other.
15. Don’t nag him if he doesn’t want to talk about it yet. Some men just need time to think things through. Let him know you are here when he’s ready to talk.
16. Show her you desire her.
17. Show him you admire him.
18. Once a week, do something sexually spontaneous when he gets home from work. Don’t let him know which day it will happen on so he’s on good behavior everyday hoping it will happen. ;)
19. Wear lingerie not just for him, but also for yourself.
20. For those who have kids, your marriage needs to be number one. Your spouse was there before the kids and will be there after the kids move out. Work on that relationship first.
21. Last but not least, no matter how busy life gets (work, kids, school, etc), don’t take one another for granted. Put away some time and take a trip somewhere. If you can’t afford an exotic getaway, take a weekend trip to go wine tasting, do a couple’s spa, drive down the coast, go hiking, go to an amusement park, get a hotel room in the next city and spend the night! It’s not about where you go or what you do, but it’s about spending that quality time together.
* * *
Well, that’s all I can think of for now. Let me know which is your fave and if you have some tips of your own! Have a great rest of the week! xx, KTR
On Me: Top: ASOS bodysuit | Bottom: Topshop Joni Highwaist jeans | Shoes: Alexander Wang | Bag: Saint Laurent (Small Sac de Jour)
SHOP THIS LOOK
Wow, I’m just really happy that I find your blog. Your style is perfect. Don’t stop posting ,
because I’m coming back:)
great tips, I Liked 14,16,18 of course
You hit the nail on the head with 4 & 9 ! Brilliant. Not married but in a relationship. And it all still applies!
I’m newly engaged and if I’m honest a bit scared. This post was great. Really encouraging…the first tip slapped me right in the face. Plus the one about making time for dates every week. Congrats on reaching your 4 year milestone. ? from Jamaica
Very beautiful, I love point one. Kindness is everything.
Thank you so much for sharing. :-)
Have a great weekend!
I loved this. I am not even married but some of the points can definitely be applied to a relationship. I also had a good chuckle on some of these points lol :-)
Signed: The Healthy Affair
this is great! thank you for sharing!
Nadin recently posted…Exotic Sangria
I loved the point a out listening to understand because so many times before I’ve listened to respond in a bid to try to win the argument. I’m single now and never Bern married and your tips will help me to become the right person for my right person so thank you. Lots of love from Kenya
The culture and academic education /all), is happiness,
If you know nothing, you share anything…
… the articulation of knowledge, will give us the way to interpret the context in which we find ourselves and from here will depend on the solution of problems with quality and assertiveness.
Well, I say… Happy Anniversary!
Love this! Your tips are so spot on and I so needed this little reminder today.
Emily DeVoie recently posted…A Satisfying Breakfast: Tortilla Española a la Montehabana
Beautiful post … Great ideas
I loved #20. I’ve been married almost three years and we have a one year old. It’s so easy to put the child first (because this little girl has us wrapped around her fingers!). But, putting the marriage first is really key because when you do that, everything else falls into line.
Another tip I’d add is to take an interest in each other’s hobbies. It doesn’t have to be gung-ho or whatever, but I watch ESPN with my husband sometimes and have now found myself participating in the conversation which he enjoys! And he just started showing interest in my sewing and I showed him how to cut fabric and sew a pocket while the baby napped. It is those types of things that really add to quality time and memories!
Again, Happy Anniversary!
Eryn S. recently posted…Dallas/Fort Worth Meet Up at Golden D’or Fabrics
Oh definitely, showing interest in each others’ lives/hobbies is also very important as well and should be on this list!
Haha, love this! Too cute!
Omg KT this is such a great post! I love the tips and the light humor that you included in (*). You and your husband are so cute together and I can totally see how much he lolves you by the way he looks at you with adoration.
Such an adorable couple. I love this post!!
I am dying on how cute this post is. Your tips are hilarious and it tells a story of your relationship and bond with your husband, but I especially love “2. Remember that marriage is less about marrying the right person and more about becoming the right person.” It’s so true. Thanks for such a cute and quirky post with a lot of inspirational tips. Love you!
I just wanted to thank you for posting this. These are really excellent tips. I’m going through a rough patch with my fiance (I think the stress of our impending wedding is getting to us and we are snipping at each other over minute things). These are definitely food for thought. Congratulations on your 4th anniversary!